What We Had (Tony StarkxReader)

What We Had

            Tony glanced around the large room filled with people dressed elegantly. After all, it was a party to celebrate the achievements of Stark Industries. He strolled around watching dancing couples twirling happily. His chest tightened but he kept going, plastering a forced smile as he interacted with fellow businessmen and party guests. After finishing the numerous conversations, Tony exhaled, taking a deep breath. Shaking his head, he turned away from the music heading over to the bar. Pull yourself together, Stark. That was years ago, Tony muttered to himself. He looked up, eyes landing on a certain woman. She was alone, staring down at the drink in her hand. Her hair fell around her face, brushing past her shoulders onto the simple, yet beautiful turquoise dress that hugged her figure nicely. He narrowed his eyes, a flash of familiarity invading his senses. Tony stared quietly, desperately trying to piece together the memories of this woman. Feeling eyes boring onto her face, she lifted her head, catching his stare. Her eyes widened in recognition, as realization dawned her features. She opened her mouth, but he beat her to it.

            She was a S.H.I.E.L.D. field agent assigned to the same mission as the Avengers: save the world. He was Iron Man, an Avenger that everyone recognized. They hadn’t necessarily clicked instantly, as she deemed Tony annoying, immature, and extremely arrogant, while Tony despised the fact that she rebuffed him in every way possible. But their opinions changed soon since they were forced to work together to save humanity.

“Welcome to the Avengers, (f/n),” Nick Fury boomed, waving his hand toward everyone seated around the table. She smiled faintly, sitting down in the only empty seat left, which happened to be right next to Tony Stark, the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.

“Hey sweetie, you’re going to enjoy your time with us,” he smirked. (F/n) raised her eyebrows, giving him an incredulous look.

“Ooh, not much of a talker, eh?” Tony whispered. “I can change that too,”

She glared at him. “Shut up, Stark, before I personally kill you myself.”

“Feisty… I like my women feisty,” he purred seductively, eyes roaming her figure. She threw a disgusted look at him, and turned her attention to Fury.

“Now if you two are done, let us continue,” Fury looked amused at the situation.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead.” Tony shrugged, looking at the amused, annoyed, and pissed expressions on his teammates’ faces. But (f/n) got used to it, tolerating all the teasing, joking, and whatever happened to escape Tony’s mouth. It was part of the package of working with the Avengers. She grew to love his quirks and sense of humor that always seemed to relieve tensions, as he managed to make even the serious and stoic Steve laugh uncontrollably. Soon, they became a true team, fighting Loki together. (F/n) considered Tony her best friend, and Tony loved teasing and annoying her the most. But the council had to fire the missile, and (f/n), knowing Tony the best, realized too late that he was going to remove it. She landed on the top of the building next to Natasha, silently praying for that annoying but lovable bastard to return safely. Come on, Stark, she whispered. At the last moment, she spotted a mixture of red and yellow and breathed in relief. Tony was unconscious, but he awoke after the Hulk’s roar. (F/n) smirked at his mental state, but was relieved that he survived.

It was after the battle that (f/n) met the vulnerable and personal side of Tony Stark. He was an interesting character, to say the least. Tony could lock himself in his lab for hours on end, not even coming up for food or sleep. He lasted hours and even days working on his suits or anything for the team.

“You’re going to kill yourself like this, Stark.” (F/n) muttered, entering the override code to his lab, cringing at the loud music blaring from the speakers and the mess that greeted her upon entering.

“Oh hey, missed me?” Tony stumbled over his feet, slurring over his words in exhaustion. She leaned over and caught him before he faceplanted on the ground.

“Jeez Stark, when was the last time you slept?” (F/n) groaned, dragging him out of the lab and into the elevator. There was no response as Tony was quiet, and (f/n) realized he was already asleep. She smiled at his peaceful resting face, but grimaced, struggling to lift Tony onto her shoulder.

“Need any help?” Steve waved a hand toward the sleeping Tony. (F/n) peered around Tony’s body, seeing Steve, Clint, Thor, and Natasha grinning at her.

“Nah, I got it, thanks. I mean, even if I drop him, it’ll be payback for everything he’s done to me,” (f/n) laughed. Clint snickered, Thor patted her head, Natasha nudged (f/n) playfully, and Steve smiled at her reply. (F/n) trudged toward the elevator and bid goodnight to her fellow teammates, heading for Tony’s room. She had only been in his room a couple of times, but she knew her way around relatively well, at least being capable of finding the bed and the bathroom. (F/n) carefully laid Tony on his bed and wrapped the blankets around him, ruffling his hair, placing a kiss on his forehead, and quietly turning off the lights. She placed her hand on the doorknob, slowly stepping out when a voice croaked out brokenly, “Don’t leave. Please.” (F/n) whirled around, stepping over the items strewn onto the floor back to the bed. She sat down next to Tony, eyes adjusting to the darkness to find him staring back at her.

“Shh… It’s okay. I’ll be right here,” She soothed Tony, gently massaging his head to calm the troubled man.

“Thank you…” Tony drifted back to sleep. (F/n) sighed, running a hand through her hair, glancing at the clock on the nightstand. 2:45AM. She placed her head down on the pillow, sleep taking over her body. She awoke suddenly when she heard whimpers. Rubbing her eyes, (f/n) blearily viewed Tony curled around the blankets, trembling slightly. He began thrashing and kicking the air violently.

“Hey! Tony, wake up! It’s just a dream!” (F/n) leaned over, shaking Tony gently. His body froze for a second, and all of a sudden, a fist connected with (f/n)’s cheek. She stumbled back in shock as he continued pummeling her body. Clenching her teeth painfully, she narrowed her eyes, grabbing his fists in a death-lock hold, ignoring the throbbing pain that rippled through her body.

“Tony! Wake up!” He shot up, eyes widening at the large purple splotches covering (f/n).

“It’s just me. You’re perfectly safe. It’s okay,” She took a careful step forward. Tony rushed forward, falling into her open arms, still trembling. He heard the sharp intake of air as he squeezed her tightly.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry,” He stared at his feet. She hugged him back numbly.

“It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know.” He slipped out of her embrace, scowling at the wall.

“I hurt you! I mean, look at you! It’s all my fault! What if it happens again?” He spluttered, falling onto the bed, refusing eye contact.

“Stop. None of this was your fault! You were just dreaming!” She glared at him.

“What… what if I kill you?” Tony whispered quietly.

“I can take care of myself just fine. Look, I chose to help you okay? Stop blaming yourself.” (F/n) sat down next to him, opening her arms. Tony gratefully accepted the gesture, falling into his comforting solace.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled into her shoulder.

“Don’t be.” She whispered, rubbing his back comfortingly as he started shaking. She felt wetness staining her shirt, but she could care less.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She quietly asked. Tony lifted his face, taking a deep breath.

“Afghanistan.” He shuddered. (F/n) tightened her grip on Tony.

“I’ll be right here if you need anything.” She squeezed his hands in reassurance. Tony was just as vulnerable and human as everyone else, but he happened to use a façade to cover his pain. But she didn’t care. He was her best friend and companion.

“(F/n)?” Tony lifted his tear-stained face.

“Yes?” She gave him a soft smile. Tony took a deep breath, meeting her eyes cautiously.

“Look, I know I am annoying, unbearable, immature, and horrible to you, almost killing you a second ago, but I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for always putting up with me and tolerating my stupid shitty attitude. And I have no idea where this is going, but I like you. No, I love you. I don’t know where I would be without you. I’m sorry too, for making you deal with all this bullshit, and-“ Tony admitted, his eyes widening as (f/n) leaned over and gently placed her lips on his, shutting him up.

“I know. And don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you too, no matter what happens, okay?” (F/n) kissed his nose, wrapping her arms around Tony. He smiled, capturing her lips in another kiss, putting all his love, passion, and pain into it. She tasted sweet and he absorbed every single moment of it. Tony placed his forehead onto hers, wrapping his arms around her and placing a kiss of her head.

“I love you so much,” Tony whispered, gathering (f/n) closer in his arms. She grinned, snuggling closer into his embrace.

“Love you too.”

The next day the rest of the Avengers found (f/n) snuggled in Tony’s chest with his arms wrapped tightly around her.

“I told you!” Natasha grinned triumphantly at Clint and Thor.

“(F/n). I haven’t seen you for a while,” Tony acknowledged, taking the seat next to her.

“Same goes for you, Tony. Seems like you’re doing well though,” She gestured toward the party. He shrugged nonchalantly.

“How about you?” He asked, glancing at her.

“Business moved back here, but we’re doing well. Thanks for asking,” (f/n) flickered her eyes back down to her drink. Tony nodded, unsure of what to say. A silence settled over them, as Tony struggled to find something to talk about. He waved the barista over, ordering a drink and returning to the silence.
“So, uh,” Tony stammered, realization finally hitting his brain as he stared at her hand and the glittering ring that sat carefully on her finger.

“You married?” He blurted out, a sudden pain throbbing in his chest. She lifted her drink, taking a sip before responding, carefully watching his face.

“Engaged. I’m getting married in three months,” She corrected him. “And you?”

“Um, I have a girlfriend,” He ran a hand through his hair uncomfortably, avoiding her gaze.

“Well, that’s great for you,” her eyes twinkled mischievously.

“What?” He asked. “Oh wait, playboy finally settling down,” He winked at her to cover the pain clouding his head as he remembered the old times when life seemed easier and happier. She smiled faintly in response, as silence settled between the former lovers again.

            Everyone seemed positive that Tony and (f/n) were not going to last long. After all, Tony had a reputation as a playboy and was known for one-night stands with numerous women. But it seemed that they were different. (F/n) brought out a different side of Tony, and the Avengers had faith that everything was going to turn out fine.

(F/n) bid her good-byes to the Avengers as she returned to S.H.I.E.L.D. She was an experienced field agent, not an Avenger, no matter how many times they tried to convince her to join them. She decided it was not the right time, as she was needed back at her job. Tony and (f/n) slowly grew apart from the lengthy missions at S.H.I.E.L.D. and the long and difficult battles Tony fought. They tried to keep in contact, but with enemies and threats constantly plaguing the phones and technology they used, it was difficult. The final straw snapped when (f/n) was sent on a highly top secret mission that few knew about. Tony hated the fact that she was always sent into danger and tried to stop her from going. But if (f/n) refused, the lives of all the Avengers and the agents at S.H.I.E.L.D. would be threatened. She would not allow that to happen, preferring to take her own life than allow others to die. Tony still disapproved, but the Avengers were called in and he could not stop her from going. She set out on the mission while Tony participated in Avengers related missions. But no one anticipated how long the mission would take. (f/n) was gone for a year when Fury suddenly lost all contact with her. Everyone prayed and hoped she would return, but another year passed in vain, and she was presumed dead. Tony suffered the most, as he was left alone to battle his constant nightmares and problems that no one but (f/n) could fix. His judgment left him as he constantly pulled all-nighters and refused help. (F/n) missed Tony’s humor and genius in extremely difficult situations as well as the comfort he managed to provide, always brightening her day and making her feel better. But after two years of struggling to survive and finally completing the mission successful, (f/n) returned home wearily. She was tired, fatigued, and absolutely exhausted, but she was excited to return to Tony. Stepping out of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters after debriefing with Fury, (f/n) quickly drove back to the tower.

“Welcome home. It’s been a while, Miss,” Jarvis greeted as (f/n) stepped through the doors.

“Thank you, Jarvis. Do you know where Tony is?” She asked, placing her stuff down in the kitchen.

“Sir is in his room.” Jarvis answered. (F/n) thanked Jarvis, and headed to his room.

“Tony?” She whispered, peeking her head into the room. Her eyes widened, taking in Tony kissing another woman, Pepper Potts. Tears pricked her eyes, as she stumbled back, heading out the door.

“Wait! (F/n)?” Tony looked up, shock and disbelief plastered on his face. She turned around slowly, tears spilling down her cheeks.

“No, I get it, you’ve moved on. After all, its been what? Two years?” (F/n) choked out painfully. Tony met her eyes, once full of love and happiness but now filled with pain and anger, guilt swarming in his stomach as he watched her exit. He sighed, pain numbing his senses as he fell onto the couch, burying his face in his hands. The best thing in his life just disappeared, slipping through his fingers. He punched the couch angrily, before collapsing to his knees. Pepper walked over quietly, collecting him in a hug, comforting Tony.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Pepper looked down.

“It’s not your fault,” Tony mumbled, guilt plaguing his senses as the engine of a car roared, slowly fading into silence.

“Look, I’m sorry for what happened.” Tony managed to speak, guilt still ripping through his chest. (F/n) turned toward him, her (e/c) eyes meeting his chocolate hues.

“You can’t change the past,” She answered quietly, pain flashing in her eyes. “But I’m sorry too. For being gone for so long.”

Tony smiled tightly. “Well, here we are now. I hope your finance treats you better than I did. He’s lucky to have you. I never deserved someone as amazing as you and I will never regret my time spent with you. Thank you for always being there for me,” He looked up, gently brushing away the tears sliding down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” (f/n) mumbled, blinking up at Tony. “Your girlfriend is lucky too, especially to have someone like you in her life.” They stared at each other, warm (e/c) meeting dark brown orbs. Out of habit, Tony pulled (f/n) into a hug, ignoring the fact that she was engaged and he had a girlfriend. She looked up, smiling faintly before standing on her toes and placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“You know that you’re invited to our wedding right?” She asked playfully. He grinned.

“Of course, who wouldn’t invite me?” He smirked mischievously. She laughed softly, the sound sparking fond memories in Tony’s head.

“Just don’t do anything too ‘Tony Stark’ so that everyone feels bad that they didn’t do something like that,” She nudged his shoulder playfully.

“I can’t promise anything,” he laughed, ruffling her hair teasingly. She pushed his hands away giggling, and finished her drink, standing up.

“Well, I should probably get going. I’ll see you around, Tony,” She gave him an affectionate smile, turned and walked away.
“Yeah, see you around,” Tony grinned softly, remembering the smile (f/n) always had, watching her disappear into the crowd. He took a deep breath, straightening his suit and returning to the party feeling lighter and happier, as if a weight lifted off his chest. He wandered back to the dance floor, finding Pepper standing alone.

“Boo,” he whispered into her ear. Pepper whirled around, sighing in relief when she saw Tony.

“Hey, you okay? I saw you talking with (f/n),” She hugged him, concerned. He smiled.

“I’m fine. We’re invited to their wedding,” Tony revealed, a small smile on his lips. Pepper raised her eyebrows.

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” She stated quietly, glancing at Tony. He grinned back at her.

“I’m fine! She’s one of our best friends right? And I’m happy for her too,” he murmured, his voice full of love and happiness. Pepper smiled, seeing the carefree and playful Tony return.

“Of course,” Pepper pulled Tony into a hug, and he smiled happily, finally at peace with his life.